“In England, it’s estimated about 1 in 4 of us will experience a mental health problem at some point each year.
Research shows that adults and young people alike feel their wellbeing is getting worse, with adults also reportedly feeling lonelier. 7.8% of adults in the UK felt lonely ‘always or often’ in 2024.”
The Big Mental Health Report by Mind
But Isn’t Counselling?…….
How counselling / therapy is portrayed on TV and in films isn’t always real or helpful!! We are influenced by so many unrealistic images of what counselling might be like. After the first session I often ask clients what they thought of their session and it’s not uncommon to hear, ‘It was good, but……’: –
- I thought I’d be lying on a couch
- I thought it might be dark and intimidating like on The Soprano’s
- I thought it would feel a lot more intense
- I thought I’d feel stupid
- I thought I’d struggle to talk
- I was worried you’d be like TV counsellors like Fraiser or the counsellor on After Life
Thinking About Counselling
If you’re considering starting counselling, you’re not alone. Whether it’s due to stress, anxiety, feeling low, overwhelmed, struggling to cope, friends, family, relationship issues, or simply the pressures of modern life, many people feel the need for professional support to navigate their mental and emotional challenges. Counselling can offer a safe space to explore your thoughts and feelings, gain perspective, and find solutions that work for you.
But what exactly does it mean to start counselling? As a counsellor meeting many clients entering into this space for the first time and having attended counselling many times myself, I thought it might be useful to help you think this through.
Why Consider Counselling?
Whether you’re dealing with a specific issue like grief, trauma, or depression, or you just need someone to talk to, counselling provides an accepting, non-judgmental space where you can work through your issues and feelings.
Let’s look at some of the common reasons people seek counselling:
Stress and Anxiety: Whether work-related, personal or a combination, anxiety can interfere with and negatively impact daily life and your health. Counselling can help you look at and understand how and why this is happening and what might work for you to help reduce stress and navigate to avoid walking into it in the future.
Feeling overwhelmed / not coping as well as usual: this is a very common sign that you’re struggling in general and could do with some support before this becomes ongoing anxiety, low mood and depression. It can feel like you might not know what to talk about in counselling, especially if it feels too much or you’re unsure what it is. However, clients are often surprised by how much they open up in a safe space and how much that can help to make sense of it all, sometimes quickly or over time.
Low Mood / Depression: Feelings of hopelessness or being “stuck” can really affect your ability to function well and see any positives or solutions to problems and counselling can help you understand this better and to look at the self-care steps you need along with small steps forward.
Grief / bereavement: loss and death of people and pets or loss of a job, friends can be very difficult to cope with and can trigger a lot of memories and any issues relating to the person and memories. Having counselling / someone neutral to talk to can be really helpful to really talk about all of your issues around grief and how this is affecting you.
Relationship Issues: Problems with partners, family members, or friends can create emotional upset and distress. Having your own space in counselling to talk and think this through can be really helpful.
Life Transitions: Major changes such as moving house, career changes, or becoming a parent are often pitched as exciting times in life, but they can also be really challenging or difficult. It can be hard to reach out if you are finding this time tough but it is okay and good to get counselling support if needed.
Self-Discovery: You don’t always need a specific issue. Some people seek counselling for personal growth or to better understand themselves.
What to Expect from Counselling
Counselling sessions usually lasts about 50 minutes to an hour and can be face 2 face, online or by phone. Sessions with Unity Therapies are the full 1hr and as well as all delivery methods mentioned, walk and talk sessions are also available, conditions allowing.
Your counsellor will offer a non-judgemental, empathetic space, actively listen, ask questions, reflect and encourage you to reflect on your thoughts and emotions and will help you gain clarity, identify patterns, and explore things to consider and possible solutions that align with you.
If offered via NHS or charitable organisations then you may be expected to attend weekly at the same time and you may be offered limited sessions over a limited period of time.
Private practice counsellors can often offer more flexibility but it’s good to check this out first. The counselling process can be short-term (a few weeks or months) or long-term, depending on your situation and goals. Often each session builds on the last, helping you move forward at your own pace, however, life often delivers new issues which can, of course, be brought into your sessions. At Unity Therapies, I understand the need for flexibility, such as fortnightly or variable sessions, due to different types of working patterns and commitments and budgets and offer long and short-term counselling as needed. Long-term clients, having appreciated the counselling space for the, often opt for monthly check-in sessions to ensure they regularly review their mental health and wellbeing.
Finding the Right Counsellor
There are different types of approaches available, however, research consistently points to the relationship with the counsellor being the most important factor for therapeutic benefits and success. Here at Unity Therapies I offer an Integrative approach bringing in approaches, tools and techniques to help clients’ needs. Selecting an Integrative approach can help reduce the overwhelm of choosing an approach.
Research has regularly been conducted to establish the ‘best therapeutic modality’ and always comes back to the key factor being the therapeutic relations. Therefore, it is really important that you feel comfortable with your counsellor. If you don’t connect with a counsellor you approach then you can always stop and change. If you feel able to, it can help and be quite an empowering step for you to explain that to the counsellor you’re stopping with, they should understand.
The benefit of seeking a counsellor in private practice is the ability to find someone you feel able to work with. Having said that, it can feel really hard to get a sense of that in your search. You can always take up the brief free intro call to get a sense of the ability to connect and feel comfortable to talk, or a full initial session which at Unity Therapies is offered at a reduced rate to help you make what can be a difficult step into counselling.
Online, In Person or Phone Sessions
At Unity Therapies, I offer online, in person, phone and walk and talk sessions. I’m often asked which is better and this is all dependent on the person. Online works really well if you’re okay with it, so, if you don’t really like online video then it’s not going to work as well and you’re better to request in person sessions. Phone sessions are another personal preference option, but can also be good if getting a private space is an issue as you can take yourself out on a walk or to an open space for your session, maybe just check you can get signal first. Walk and talk sessions can combine talking therapies with part of your self-care routine of getting out into nature and moving – they’re always an option when you have in person sessions, conditions allowing.
Preparing for Your First Session
Starting counselling can feel daunting, but knowing what to expect can help ease some of the anxiety. First of all, please be reassured that your counsellor will understand this and help you to feel relaxed and able to start talking. Here at Unity Therapies we start with explaining how things work, especially relating to confidentiality and to collect a bit of basic information and some background and reasons for seeking counselling. Here are some other things to think about ahead of that first session:-
It helps to be open and honest: It might feel awkward at first, but being open and honest about your feelings will help you get the most out of counselling. However, it is okay and normal if it takes a little time to open up about more sensitive issues and it’s okay to say if you don’t feel ready to talk about those yet.
Consider what you want from counselling: Thinking through what you want from counselling can help, but it’s okay to be unsure of what you want as well.
What questions might you want to ask of your counsellor: Is there anything you want to know or check with your counsellor? Perhaps you’ll want to understand a bit more about how they work. Your counsellor should be open to any questions about their counselling work.
Be patient: It’s normal for things to feel a little uncomfortable in the beginning. If you’re particularly anxious, the first session can feel awkward from start to finish, so it might be better to work out how you’re feeling about counselling and your counsellor after 2-3 sessions. Also, working through things can take time and can run deeper than you’re aware of and that can be hard if you’re hoping for a few quick solutions for your issues. That might be compounded if anyone you know has been in the fortunate position of resolving things in counselling in a fairly short period of time. We’re all different and it might help to keep in mind to ‘trust the process’.
Still Unsure – Why Not Try it Out and See for Yourself
Starting counselling can feel daunting and sometimes still carries a stigma, but it’s actually a really brave and positive step towards taking care of your mental health and well-being. Whether you’re feeling lost, overwhelmed, or just in need of some extra support, counselling can offer a valuable space to work through life’s challenges and finding the right type of support can make a big difference in your emotional well-being.
If you’re thinking about starting your counselling journey, make that step and give it a try. You deserve to feel supported, heard, seen and validated and counselling might just be the first step towards a more balanced, fulfilling life.
Unity Therapies Counselling & Clinical Supervision
If you’re thinking about maybe starting counselling get in touch with Jenny at Unity Therapies, she’ll be happy to explain more about counselling and answer any questions you might have.
Jenny at Unity Therapies is a warm, genuine, grounded, experienced counsellor & supervisor offering a safe, relaxed, confidential & non-judgemental space to work through your issues at your pace. She has helped hundreds of clients gain clarity, feel calmer, more accepting of themselves to feel and cope better.
Jenny brings varied challenging personal life experience to her work and broad work experience at various levels in large organisations. Her last role before becoming fully self-employed was the Counselling Team Lead for Manchester Mind.
She is an Accredited Member of NCPS (National Counselling & Psychotherapy Society); Registered Member of the BACP (British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy) and an Accredited EFT Practitioner. Jenny is fully insured, undertaking regular supervision and peer support and regularly undertaking opportunities for learning and ongoing professional development.
Resources & Further Information
Useful resources supporting this blog and your search for a counsellor: